ARE YOU SUFFERING?
Are you suffering in some area of your life?
Do you know someone who is suffering in some way?
In August this year I heard someone say “Well you are either suffering right now or you will suffer at some point in the future.”
Really? What a weird thing to say, I thought.
A month later after life’s circumstances have taken some unexpected and unwanted strange twists and turns for me, I started to have some second thoughts on the subject.
What is suffering anyway?
Open your mind for a moment and make sure your seatbelt is on for this ride….
What if I told you that I’m discovering:
That suffering – NOT pain – but “suffering” is like a mental torment.
A torment that comes from resisting what is, not wanting to deal with what is, not liking what is and wanting something else instead.
A torment that comes from:
-A conflict between how you think things should be and what they are.
-A conflict between what you want and what you have instead.
-A conflict between the place you find yourself and the place you would rather be.
A torment that comes from:
-A belief that you shouldn’t have to experience, see, feel or have to go through this.
A belief and feeling that you don’t deserve to be in this place or circumstance.
When does “pain” become “suffering”? How is it our society has come to the conclusion that life “should” be exempt from pain and suffering? Who issues this guarantee that our life will be free from it? Yet people in courts are being awarded large sums of money in response to “pain and suffering”.
May I suggest an alternative? When friendships, relationships, jobs, dreams, health and whatever else in life contribute to us finding ourselves dealing with what we don’t want to deal with; facing what we don’t want to face; going through what we don’t want to go through; doing what we don’t want to do; going where we don’t want to go, etc. STOP!
As I found myself in some places and going through some experiences this past month that I never ever could have fathomed, I started to feel like I was “suffering”. I couldn’t figure what was going on in the bigger picture. I couldn’t figure out why some people were doing or saying certain things. I sure couldn’t fathom how fast things changed for me in what seemed to be the worst way.
BUT… I recognized this developing emotion and feeling that was starting to resemble a concept of suffering – especially when the thought crossed my mind “How much longer do I have to suffer through this?”
WHOA! What was that?
Something rose up in me and determined I am NOT going to “SUFFER” through this. Furthermore, I DO NOT HAVE TO suffer through this.
I recognized the reality was:
1. No, I didn’t like what had happened.
2. No, I didn’t like what some people did or said.
3. No, I don’t want to find myself in this place.
4. No, I don’t want to go through this OR deal with it.
5. No, I don’t like not knowing where I am going to live.
6. No, I don’t like not having job security.
7. No, I don’t like seeing savings dwindle down in the “meantime”.
However, I also realized that it’s NOT in my best interest in ANY way, shape or form to then live in an emotional state of suffering that comes from wishing, comparing, being in conflict or torment on top of living the reality all this other stuff.
That would be a double whammy!
The reality was I did not have physical pain. In various moments, I also realized that in spite of everything “I” was okay. Not perfect, but okay. In the moment I had what I needed. In the moment, I was doing what I could. In the moment I was getting by. In the moment I was alive. I am a survivor. Three days, three months or three years from now, this situation will have changed.
Pain is a different issue. We don’t always know what pain is about. We can’t always control pain. But suffering?
Next time you tend to think or feel you are suffering, check it out. Realize you may not have to “suffer” on top of whatever you are experiencing. Have some second thoughts and check out what you can be thankful for. What needs are being met? Look around. I realized that in spite of my own circumstances and experiences, there are many who are worse off than me. There are those with less than me. I also have God who will guide me. I have faith that will keep me going. I have hope to help me see beyond this moment and this place.
Is it really that simple?
You tell me!