When you hear the word rejection, do you think of it as negative? Who hasn’t faced situations, words and feelings of rejection at some point and time? BUT….have you ever realized that what appears as rejection might be a positive for you?
The employee at work or the student who refuses drugs and is excluded from co-worker’s parties or the in-group because of their values – is it rejection? Or is it God’s protection from addiction, potential charges, negative situations and effects or the beginning of a dark road, potentially death? Ask an inmate, someone in rehab or someone who lost a loved one to an overdose.
For the good-girl attracted to the bad boy who doesn’t even look at her – is it rejection? Or is it more a reflection of who each of them are and a revelation of their values? Is it a sign, a message or revelation of truth for both? The bad boy doesn’t have value for the things that make her good. Where is that going to take him? How many situations of abuse would be avoided if people paid attention to the signs and messages – not feeling rejected but knowing that there is someone better out there who would truly care for them and love them?
At a stop light recently, I looked over at a young guy driving a truck. Hanging from his rear-view mirror was a pair of stuffed boobs. Another vehicle had a sticker saying I love boobs. I assume they think this is cool. To me it was a clear message of their attitude toward women. It is not cool but a lack of character and maturity. It is a lack of respect for a woman as a person, for her intellect, character, well-being, dignity or value as a human being. It’s about bodies – not relationship. It is about the guys, their needs and superficial attitudes. Pay attention to the message and signs. The character – or lack of – will show up in the quality of relating, communication and decisions. This guy is not going to be the one who is going to be there when real life happens, crisis hits or you need a grown up alongside you. He’s too busy with boobs. If these are not your values, then I suggest you do the rejecting – as in saying NO THANKS. When you say no to this, you are saying yes to waiting for better. You are saying yes to making room for what you value – an invitation to those who will value you. Protecting your life and making decisions are boundaries we all have to learn for healthy relationships and decisions – to be healthy and live a healthy life.
There can also be a sense of rejection when we don’t get the job, loan or mortgage. Perhaps an offer on a house, an offer to help or to go somewhere is refused. Is this rejection or is it God’s re-directing us to a different job, a different financial arrangement/institution, a different home or a different place? What if it’s God’s protection from us being in the wrong place at the wrong time doing the wrong thing? What if there is something He sees or knows that we don’t? I recently made an offer on a condo for the full asking price. The offer was refused with the comment Thank you for your generous offer, but we won’t be accepting your offer. This was due totally to the realtor’s opinion on conditions. In the meantime I discovered work to be done in my present place before I could sell it. So is that refusal actually rejection or a blessing? That seller has continued to incrementally reduce that unit by $18,000 since then, and it is still not sold. Could that refusal of my offer actually be a protection of something I don’t see ahead, but that God sees?Could it be a better deal for a later time, leaving more money in my pocket?
What about the times and places in your life you have felt rejected? Is there a chance it wasn’t about you? Is there a chance it is really someone else’s issue? Let the truth bring you freedom. Live free!